Recently, I have had more than enough time to myself, and it is starting to really get to me. People that I am rather close to have been telling me things that I will of course always keep to myself, but based on how vague I am on my blog, I am just going to use the one example. I am not sure what the average age of my audience is, and how stable each one of my viewers are. However, some people recently have trusted me enough to tell me how they are really feeling about life at this time, and it is never positive things. Most of these thoughts get dark, and once somebody opens up to you, they trust you; and that itself is something worth holding onto, even if the burden is heavy. But, some have told me that they do not feel as though they have reason to live, or they wished they just seized to exist.. And it simply breaks my heart that people in this world, especially some that I know & care about, feel that way. As for me, someone who is going to school to help with these kinds of emotional issues, that following moment where the silence resides, and I have no words to say; it really hurts that I have nothing to say.. I don't know why I decided to say this, I suppose it is really eating at me. I just... I just feel as though everyone deserves to be happy, but life is not that simple for some.
On a more positive note, I will be starting school next week and I could not be happier about it. The week I return, I will already be working on campus again. They scheduled me until the beginning of a class, which I will need to run by my supervisor, or my professor. A lot has been getting to me recently; I know that I am going to have a surplus of obligations and commitments that require my attention this semester, and I am not really looking forward to the chaos, but I am looking forward to the positivity and accomplishment from it all. I truly am, more than anything else. Hopefully, I will be able to accomplish some personal short terms goals I have set for myself before the summer rolls around.
I really do not have much to report today. Oh, I did go out of town this morning with my Aunt to get spiritual stones for my collection. My roommate got me into using stones for inner balance and inner peace (or something like that), and so my Aunt was nice enough to buy me four more of those as well as a dream catcher for our room. To be honest, I cannot remember the spelling of two of them, but the other two were Red Jasper and Desert Rose Selelite. I really needed an amplifier for my other stones. After we left the shop, I did not feel too well, and ended up going home and sleeping for the rest of the day. The only reason I woke up was because someone I was close to need to talk about their day, and I was their for them, because good friends are there for each other. And that conversation ended up being just over two hours long, which is something most people are not able to say nowadays. I cherish the little things, like a long phone call, a cup of coffee after I wake up, eating dinner at a table; things society has lost touch with into the technological age. But after we hung up, I had eaten some soup & bread, watched some Netflix, and then I came to my room to type up something to make up for my lack of typing.
I have been getting quite a few views on my website, and I think that is wonderful, I just wish I knew my audience better. This blog has grown a little since July or August, whenever I started it. But, I know of a few people who go out of their way to check up on my blog, which I appreciate very much. I just hope this site remains a place of positivity for me. I do not want it to become something negative, I am fond of it, and I would hate to lose something I created. But, I suppose all good things must come to an end eventually. I am making myself curious by what I am typing, maybe my sub-conscience is trying to tell me something... Or maybe I am just thinking too much... It is one of those things I do best; something that makes me who I am; something that seems to be a forced hobby of mine.
On that note, I am going to get some rest. I actually have plans tomorrow, and need to be up, ready, and out the door by 11:00 am, maybe a bit earlier. I just wanted to close with a big thank you to those who follow me. I appreciate all the support. Also, if anyone is ever having a bad day, and you are feeling those thoughts that I mentioned previously in the post, please do not hold them inside. Please talk to somebody if you are feeling this way, it does help. It takes time to overcome those kinds of emotions, but there are always people who care, and strangers, such as myself, who will be willing to talk to you about how you are feeling. After all, therapy is something I will always recommend. I understand that I said hearing other talk about it was getting to me, and it does, but if I can help in anyway, please reach out. It is important to feel important, so please know that every human life is important, even those who make mistakes and feel they are not. If you are truly set on starting a new path, you need to follow it, and slowly but surely, things will fall into place when the time is right.
Good night Folks.
On a more positive note, I will be starting school next week and I could not be happier about it. The week I return, I will already be working on campus again. They scheduled me until the beginning of a class, which I will need to run by my supervisor, or my professor. A lot has been getting to me recently; I know that I am going to have a surplus of obligations and commitments that require my attention this semester, and I am not really looking forward to the chaos, but I am looking forward to the positivity and accomplishment from it all. I truly am, more than anything else. Hopefully, I will be able to accomplish some personal short terms goals I have set for myself before the summer rolls around.
I really do not have much to report today. Oh, I did go out of town this morning with my Aunt to get spiritual stones for my collection. My roommate got me into using stones for inner balance and inner peace (or something like that), and so my Aunt was nice enough to buy me four more of those as well as a dream catcher for our room. To be honest, I cannot remember the spelling of two of them, but the other two were Red Jasper and Desert Rose Selelite. I really needed an amplifier for my other stones. After we left the shop, I did not feel too well, and ended up going home and sleeping for the rest of the day. The only reason I woke up was because someone I was close to need to talk about their day, and I was their for them, because good friends are there for each other. And that conversation ended up being just over two hours long, which is something most people are not able to say nowadays. I cherish the little things, like a long phone call, a cup of coffee after I wake up, eating dinner at a table; things society has lost touch with into the technological age. But after we hung up, I had eaten some soup & bread, watched some Netflix, and then I came to my room to type up something to make up for my lack of typing.
I have been getting quite a few views on my website, and I think that is wonderful, I just wish I knew my audience better. This blog has grown a little since July or August, whenever I started it. But, I know of a few people who go out of their way to check up on my blog, which I appreciate very much. I just hope this site remains a place of positivity for me. I do not want it to become something negative, I am fond of it, and I would hate to lose something I created. But, I suppose all good things must come to an end eventually. I am making myself curious by what I am typing, maybe my sub-conscience is trying to tell me something... Or maybe I am just thinking too much... It is one of those things I do best; something that makes me who I am; something that seems to be a forced hobby of mine.
On that note, I am going to get some rest. I actually have plans tomorrow, and need to be up, ready, and out the door by 11:00 am, maybe a bit earlier. I just wanted to close with a big thank you to those who follow me. I appreciate all the support. Also, if anyone is ever having a bad day, and you are feeling those thoughts that I mentioned previously in the post, please do not hold them inside. Please talk to somebody if you are feeling this way, it does help. It takes time to overcome those kinds of emotions, but there are always people who care, and strangers, such as myself, who will be willing to talk to you about how you are feeling. After all, therapy is something I will always recommend. I understand that I said hearing other talk about it was getting to me, and it does, but if I can help in anyway, please reach out. It is important to feel important, so please know that every human life is important, even those who make mistakes and feel they are not. If you are truly set on starting a new path, you need to follow it, and slowly but surely, things will fall into place when the time is right.
Good night Folks.